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by Plot Bunnies Rule
Summary: "'Hermione, look at yourself,' She could not look. She closed her eyes." Welcome to my first fanfic! Tragic romance with Hermione and Ron. Rating for self-abuse and character death. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to my dark and treacherous fanfiction. Proceed with caution. JUST KIDDING! Although, it is... _tragic_.

Hermione breathed heavily, her face flushed and sweaty. She groaned and clutched her stomach, feeling sick. But, she felt used to it by now. She thought back to a month ago, when Ron had finally gotten the courage to ask her out. She had felt ecstatic, like walking on air. She felt that happy. Finally, after all that time, they were together. She had liked him for what seemed like forever.

Then, she started feeling... _different. _Like she was not pretty enough for Ron. He had, after all, gone out with Lavender Brown, only the prettiest girl in Hermione's year! Hermione felt as if she needed to change what she looked like, starting with her body. She tried not eating anything, unfortunately, she started her idea on Halloween. Ron had noticed and asked her if she was going to eat anything so she gave in and ate. Later that same night, she lay in bed sick to her stomach. "Wait a minute," she thought, "That's it! I'll make myself sick after I eat, then I can eat as much as I want. And I could stop whenever I wanted to." How wrong she was. She had been making herself sick for three weeks now, and could not stop. Oh, she tried, but she found herself addicted to it.

Hermione came back to the present, tears streaming down her face. She leaned against the bathroom wall, trying to calm herself before she went back to the common room, back to where her masquerade would go on and back to where she felt guilty for how she was treating herself. She got up, washed her face, and left the bathroom.

_Serodezha here! Editor of this wonderful fanfiction. I will forever write notes down here and plot. will forever now write notes on the bottom of my fanfictions. Oh, and I brought my Avatar buddies here. Say hi everybody_.

Zuko: I will not say hi.

_... You just did._

Zuko: Why am I even here?

_ I just felt like torturing you. _

Aang: I'll say hi!

_Thank you Aang, I knew I could count on you. Anyways, please review this fanfiction as the author has worked really hard on it. I know, I was watching her write it._


	2. Chapter 2

'Ello luvs. This is the second chapter to my story. Hope you enjoy. Please read and review.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling's the real genius. I do not own The HP world, or anything pertaining to it. (sad face)

* * *

Chapter 2- Endings

Hermione lay in her bed, still mortified by what had happened not long ago. She went over the incident in her head.

* * *

It was a cold day in January. She and Ron were walking along the now frozen lake. But, that led up to one of their worst fights since they started dating. Ron had accused Hermione of being too thin, and she had lashed out.

"You want me to get fat? Do you want me to stuff my face and get a face covered in pimples like Eloise Midgen? Well, do you?"

Ron looked at Hermione with nothing but anger on his face.

"Hermione, look at yourself," he said, gesturing towards her reflection in the lake. She could not look. She closed her eyes. "You can't even fit into your robes, and those are from last year!"

It was true. She could not fit into her robes. She had grown so thin that even her winter gloves kept falling off. However, she refused to associate this fact with Ron. Keeping her eyes still closed, she retorted with a hint of hurt in her voice.

"What do you want me to do, Ron? Do you want me to change? What do you want me to do?"

On the last sentence, her voice broke, and tears squirted out of her eyes and ran down her face like miniature rivers.

Ron's face softened, and, quietly, he said, "I just want you to be the Hermione I fell in love with"

She opened her eyes. He_loves_ me? "No," she thought. "_Loved_ me" She stared at him, but not the way she used to before she became…this. Hermione realized, right then and there, that she didn't deserve Ron. She could not become who she was before. She could not change.

She looked at Ron's face one last time, then turned around, ran inside, up to the Common room, and up to her dormitory. There, she lay down on her bed, and sobbed her heart out.

* * *

That happened more than an hour ago, and she could cry no more. She was dry of tears, and she wondered if she would ever cry again. She had waited for Ron to come back to her, but he had not.

Hermione sighed, and after avoiding it for the longest time, she looked at herself.

Her hands, that had once held a quill so gracefully, were now bony and crippled looking. Her legs were bony also, and so unstable that she could barely walk anymore without tripping a few times.

She felt her almost non-existent stomach which could hold no more food. She felt her ribs, and she could count every one. Lastly, she sat up in bed and, for the first time in months, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Hermione's eyes, once so full of life and knowledge, were blank and sunken in with dark circles around them. Her cheeks were sunken in as well.

"I can't change Ron." Hermione said, and, as though a wave of nausea had washed over her, she lay back on her bed. She had no more energy. She started breathing quick, shallow breaths. Out loud, she said "I have no reason to live anymore."

She closed her eyes, softly whispered "I'm sorry Ron" then she said no more.

* * *

Lavender Brown made her way up to the girls' dormitory, grumbling to herself. She had a message from Ron to give to Hermione to come downstairs, for he wanted to apologize. Needless to say, she did not like to be ordered around, especially by her old boyfriend.

Still grumbling to herself, she opened the door to her dormitory. A little too harshly, she said "Hermione, Ron wants you."

When Hermione didn't answer, Lavender went over to her bed, attempting to wake her up. She also did not like to be ignored. "Hermione, come on!" suddenly, her eyes widened.

She backed away from the bed.

She screamed.

* * *

_NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! It can't end this way! Hurry, write more! What do you think guys?_  
Mai: It sounds depressing.  
_. . . But you think everything is depressing._  
Mai: Your point? You asked me the question, if you knew that I thought everything is depressing, why ask?  
_You got a point. hmmmm... Anyways, hope you all enjoy this. I know the next chapter is coming soon. I will press plot. untill it is finished. _


	3. Chapter 3

Hey everyone, last chapter! I just wanted to say thanks to all the feedback for my story so far! It really means a lot to me, especially since it's my first fanfic! I would like to thank the following people for the lovely reviews:

Serodezha

ron.w rules

in old style!

Sifu Blind Bandit

Thank you so much!

Oh, and I don't know Hermione's mom's name, so I went on impulse and used Hermione's middle name as her mom's name. And the stuff in _italics_ is Ron's thoughts, except for the stuff on Hermione's grave.

Disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter, sadly. (sob) Or Laura Ingalls Wilder (You'll find out)

Chapter 3- 15 Years Later

Ron walked slowly across the graveyard, taking in his surroundings. It was unkempt, like no one had ventured into it in quite a few years. Ron started to look back to the last day he had been here, but no. Now was not the time.

* * *

He shook himself out of his thoughts, and continued his search for a particular grave. When he didn't find it at first he started to panic.

"Where is it?" He asked with a hint of hysteria in his voice.

Then, he found it.

"_Hermione Granger_

_September 17 1980- January 13 1998_

_Beloved daughter and friend."_

Ron knelt down on the ground and traced Hermione's name with his finger. Tears pricked his eyes.

He let himself go back fifteen years ago.

Her funeral party was small. In attendance was Ron, Harry, Hermione's parents. The Weasley clan and a few people he didn't know. "Muggles" Ron guessed.

The ceremony was short, but for Ron, it seemed to go on for an eternity. After it finally ended, they made their way to a small graveyard. After another few words by the pastor, Ron passed the coffin and looked at Hermione one last time.

Her hair was its usual wavy self and framed her face. She was smiling, a change to the feeling she had felt when she died. She was wearing a long, lilac dress, and Ron thought she had never looked more beautiful, even if she was thin and bony. None of that mattered now.

Ron then looked at her folded hands, and placed a single violet into them. "I will always love." He said quietly.

He turned around, and started to walk away, but was stopped when a hand was placed on his shoulder.

He turned around, expecting to see Harry, but instead Hermione's smile.

"Wait," thought Ron. "Hermione's smile?" He looked again and saw another face, with Hermione's smile. The lady wearing it started to speak.

"Hello. You must be Ron." Ron's eyes widened. He was surprised not only because this stranger knew his name, but also because he had never heard any adult call him by his nickname, Ron. The lady started again.

"You probably don't know me, but I'm Hermione's mother, Jean Granger. I feel like I know so much about you. She talked about you all the time, she did. About how good friends you and Harry were to her."

Here, she paused a second then started again.

"About how much she loved you"

Ron's eyes grew large, and Mrs. Granger chuckled slightly.

"Oh, she didn't tell me directly, no, but I could see it in the way she talked about you. Her eyes would light up suddenly and she would get this dreamy look on her face. She also kept a picture of you in one of her textbooks" Mrs. Granger smiled slyly. "_Hogwats: A History _I think it was."

Ron looked at the ground, embarrassed.

"I also wanted to say it's not your fault the way Hermione…"

Mrs. Granger got choked up here and two tears ran down her face. Not bothering to brush them away, she started again. "…the way Hermione died. If it's anyone's fault it is mine and my husband's for not realizing what was going on. Her letters were so vague and she didn't sound like herself."

"No." Ron spoke for the first time and went on "It is not your fault whatsoever. We tried to help her but she refused. It is most definitely my fault for making Hermione feel like she had to become a different person." He turned away.

"And that is something I will never forgive myself for."

* * *

Ron was sobbing now, and his breath was short. To calm himself, he looked at the quote on Hermione's grave

"_Remember me with smiles and laughter,_

_for that is how I will remember you all."_

_Lara I. Wilder_

Ron had no idea who Laura Wilder was, but whoever she was, her saying had given him courage. He knew what he had to do. Ron cleared his throat, and started to speak.

"Hey Hermione, um, how's it going?"

_What do you mean 'how's it going?', she's dead!_

Ron coughed, and started again.

"How's it like up there, wherever you are? I hope it's nice. We're going through a really hot summer here"

_Get off the weather!_

"We all miss you, Ginny especially. She took it really hard. She looked up to you and you guys were best friends. Now she's saying she's got no one to talk to, but that's not true. She's got Harry."

"Oh yeah; she and Harry got married a few years ago. Their wedding was spectacular. But it just wasn't the same without you."

"They have three kids. James is nine and looks exactly like Harry. Albus is next, he's seven. Kind of shy and quiet he is. Lily is last; she's six and looks like Ginny except for the eyes. Harry's eyes no doubt. They live somewhere near Godric's Hollow. We visit them a lot."

Ron stopped abruptly. He wondered whether he should go on or not.

_Might as well. _

Ron took a huge breath, and said,

"I got married too, a few years ago." He paused again.

"Hermione, I just wanted you to know that I still love you, just not as much as I used to."

_WRONG! So wrong! _

"I didn't mean it like that!" he said quickly. "I will always have a special place for you, though. That is something that will never change."

Ron wiped a few stray tears from his face and spoke again.

"My wife, her name is Elena Nerloi. Of course, now it's Elena Weasley. She's absolutely brilliant, just like you. I'm sure you two would have gotten along just fine. She is Italian, and makes some awfully good stuffed manicotti."

_Get off the subject of food!_

"I have two kids." Ron said hesitantly.

"A boy and a girl. Jonathan is the oldest, he is three. A bundle of high energy. I can barely keep up with him." Ron paused for the longest time, then said.

"And my daughter? Well…"

"Her name is Hermione."

* * *

Serodezha here. Lovely. I can't believe it is finally over.

Ty-Lee: It was sad but beautiful at the same time.

Yes, I agree. I hope you all enjoyed this!


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